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January 27, 2020
#306
Please join us in congratulating and offering
our sincere appreciation for Barbara Schock's 300th+ Sandburg's Hometown
post on our Carl Sandburg Historic Site Association website!! Thank you,
Barbara, for sharing your extraordinary gift of these vignettes of Galesburg &
19th century American history.
George Helgesen Fitch (1877-1915)
Galva, Illinois |
Noses By Barbara
Schock
George Fitch was born in Galva, Illinois, June 5,
1877, about six months before Carl Sandburg first saw the light day in
Galesburg. His parents were Elmer and Rachel Helgeson Fitch. George was the
first child born to them with a girl and another boy to follow.
Elmer Fitch was a newspaperman and editor so his son more
or less followed in his foot steps. George graduated from Knox College in 1897
and worked at several newspapers in Illinois and Iowa.
In 1911 he began writing humorous stories about Old
Siwash—a college which had a football coach who paid the players to play. The
adventures of Ole Skjarson, a player, were more than a little ridiculous. The
eleven stories appeared in The Saturday Evening Post and were later published as
a book.
Fitch wrote a syndicated newspaper column entitled “Vest
Pocket Essays” which were collected in a book and published in 1916. Copies
of the book are still for sale today. Following is the essay on noses.
“The nose is the most prominent human feature. It stands
boldly out from the middle of the face like the prow of a battleship…
“The nose is used to strain dust, dirt, cinders and
microbes out of the air before it is taken into the lungs and also to extract
odors from said air and submit samples of them to the brain for inspection.
Owing to this last duty, it is more enjoyable to have noses in some localities
than it is in others. In the orange groves of California, a nose is a great
source of pleasure, but on a trip through the stock yards of Chicago, it is a
nuisance…
“Noses vary greatly in architecture. Among the most
prominent varieties is the Roman nose, which is a stern, uncompromising beak
shaped like a ship’s rudder. The “pug” or retrousse nose is also firmly fastened
on a great many people, who would never think of specifying it in an order. It
is a small nose which creeps down unostentatiously from the forehead, and leaps
joyfully upward at the southern terminus, giving the owner a pert and saucy
expression, which may not coincide with his disposition worth a cent. The
Grecian nose is noted for its beautiful straight lines and classic design, but
it must be noted that men with Grecian noses do not run for office any faster
than men with nondescript wind splittters. There are also flat, spreading noses,
weird, wandering noses and large, meaty probosci. Nature is very careless, both
in designing and affixing noses, and has managed to get about 90 per cent of
them on crooked. Moreover, many noses have defective flues and are badly
plumbed, causing great distress and grief to their owners.
“Because the nose always precedes the human face into
trouble, it is usually a great sufferer in combat. It is a very poor weapon of
offense, yet reckless owners are continually trying to knock opponents down, but
hitting them on the fists with their noses.
“Noses usually come in two colors, red and white. The
latter are much more highly esteemed, though men will often spend years of time
and a great deal of money in coloring a nose until it gleams like a red signal
beacon in the darkness. It is generally conceded, however, that while on the
whole the effect produced is weird and picturesque, it is not worth the trouble
and expense.”
George Fitch died August 9, 1915, of a ruptured appendix
and is buried in the Galva Cemetery.
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